Dear friends and family,
I find myself at a crossroad. There is a part of me that seems to be too willing to walk away from things in my life. Ideals and beliefs that a few months ago, I stood for unwavering. What is it that makes us question all that we are and all that we have. I do not think that it is a bad thing. The healthiest of times in my life involved moments of self evaluative inventory. It is at these times, we are forced to choose once again, what we will choose to believe and how we will apply that to the way we live our lives.
The year started out with me doing the full-time daycare, full-time student and full-time mom routine. What a blessing it has been to be at home with Eliza. The changes I have seen in the both of us have been monumental, yet somehow so subtle. As the year progressed, I came to the realization that I was being stretched too thin. The schooling I am required to do, in becoming a teacher, involves field experience. This is a set number of hours each semester that I work with children in the school setting. This created a constant conflict with my schedule. So in May, after many months of prayer, I decided to give my two months notice for doing in home daycare. I was not sure how I was going to make ends meet, but I knew it was the right chose for everyone involved. It was hard to let the baby boy I was watching go, but since he lives across the street, we knew we would get to see him again. Before I closed I was also able to watch my friend Kariann’s new born baby girl for a month, our newest girlfriend…Miss Eva Danielle Mikesell.
July marked the end of the in home daycare, and the beginning of something new. My dad and his long time fiancée Theresa were married in their gorgeous back yard on July 3rd. It was a great time, and I could not have been happier for the two of them. It was clear they were very much in love and the best of friends. All of my Fitch siblings were there, which made for a very packed house, camper and garage, but it is always fun being together. My baby brothers Chris and Brad are now both married. Brad was married last year to Aunt Amanda, and this year Eliza got another great lady to be her aunt…Kelly. They are both good for my brothers, and I wish them only the best.
In July I also started a class at the gym called “Bootcamp”. It was an hour and a half every morning for a month. I had started going to the gym back in April, and knew that I needed something to give me the extra boost. I also needed to learn my way around the gym again, and “Bootcamp” was able to offer me that too.
Back in April I had also decided to drastically change the menu at the Fitch residence. The problem was that Eliza was spending four of the seven days of the week on the sofa holding her belly in pain. The doctors were ready to put her on Zantac. Knowing this is a lifelong medicine, I wanted to try something else first. My friend Emily and I had talked before about the thoughtful diet that she and her family do.
Basically what we try to do is eat very low processed organic homemade food. The other key, that works for us is to make a weekly menu and stick to it. With us we do breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner. That is it. Eliza’s stomach pains went away immediately. Within the first two months I lost 20 lbs. Then once I began the “Bootcamp” I lost another 15. Unfortunately that is still where I am at. I found it very easy to allow myself to slowly move away from our new way of eating. From changing schedules, vacations, physical injuries that keep me from the gym; there are just so many reasons to eat without thought, and not get to the gym. I am not giving up though, and pray to make this our new way of life once and for all.
Eliza has had a great year. After watching many hours of dance competitions (where Reid competes) she had developed more of a passion for dance. In June was her first recital, and in August she was able to perform at the fair. She was too cute up on that stage, and did a lot better than I thought she would, being barely five. This year, Eliza was asked to be on the new Pearl Team at APDA. This means she will get to learn a routine and perform it with her team at the competitions. She is very excited, and has so much fun doing it.
September started a round of new lessons for her at home also. Rather than put her in Kindergarten the day after she turned five, I decided to wait another year. At home we learn all kinds of things, including the weather, colors, shapes, writing and the letters of the alphabet. It is awesome when people ask her where she learned something from and she says, “My mom taught me that.”
As for me, this fall has been filled with questions. Please do not misunderstand. I know who I am, and what my goals are more than ever in my life. Having this foundation however, is allowing me to finally test some of my other theories and practices. This last year, I have been OVERLY blessed. God has not withheld anything from me, but rather supplied for the needs and wants of Eliza and I generously. I felt a bit ungrateful when I found myself lacking contentment in this time of abundance.
I am grateful. Awesomely grateful, and I think that is why I want to make sure that I do not receive these blessings in vain. I do not want to just sit back and lived a blessed life. I mean, is that why Jesus died and then rose again? So that I can sit in my comfy middle class lifestyle and be blessed? Maybe? I don’t know, but I want to ask. I want to know why I believe what I believe. I want to know why I do what I do, and is what I do pleasing to the Lord who gave me life? Am I living a life worthy of all that he did? I know I am not perfect, and none of us ever will be, but I have a feeling I can do better than what I have been doing. So there you have it, a crossroad. Do I continue living the way we think Christianity is supposed to look, or is there something else down that other narrow path?
"Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." - Joshua 24:14-15
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