I Miss Her

July 9th, early in the morning, my grandmother took her last breath. My uncle Steve, who had been staying with her, was able to be there with her. Many people felt relief, as she had been suffering from enphazyma for some time, but the truth is I wanted more time.

Eliza and I were lucky enough to be there the evening before, and although my grandmother could not talk very well, or open her eyes, her face lite up when she heard Eliza come in the room. It meant a lot to me that they had such a close relationship.

With the passing of my grandmother, Eliza's migranes that had started the month before, went away. It was the anxiety of losing her that was causing the headaches. And although th headaches have not been back since, there has been a lot of tears from the both of us.

She was a great lady, and I hope to be a grand-daughter that brings her honor.

Barbara Joan Freed Rusk

11.29.1930 - 07.09.2010

Proverbs 31

June 2010

June is recital month for our family. This year, it was extra special for a few reasons. First, the owner of the studio that Eliza dances for, was moving. Many people thought that the studio would be closing, but we were all pleasantly surprised when it was announced that another family member would be taking it over. Although we will all miss Amy and her family I am personally very excited for them, and excited to see what the changes will consist of.

Even more sad to me, was that it was going to be my nephew Reid's last year of dance. He had danced for the studio for 10 years, or which I was there for them all. He is getting older however, and wanting to try new things, and dance did not allow him time to do so. It is still hard to not have him a part of the studio, but I do enjoy going to the games. He is in Football, Basketball and Baseball. That is a lot of yelling.

Eliza did great in the recital and was able to be in the finale this year, as she is now a part of the team. She did so good!!! I cannot believe she learned the dance in only a few practices. Dawn and I both did the mommy dance again, and that was kind of weird to think that it would be the last time we would be doing that together as well. Another thing we were having to get ready to let go of was my Grandma Rusk. She was the last of our living grandparents, and probably the one that I was closest with. As the month continued it became more and more obvious that she was in her final days. We were over there a lot that month.

As the month finished off we made our annual trip to Minnesota. It was gorgeous weather of course, and so refreshing. While we were there, Eliza decided to experiment with the idea of being a hair stylist. She ended up with a new hair cut and pink hair!!! According to my dad, I need to "let the child express herself". I think my dad was shocked at the amount of expression I allowed when he saw the magenta hair! (LOL) Although he should know by now I have  a tendency to be all or nothing about things.

May 2010

This month flew by! I had a class, Middle Level Instructional Strategies, that was only three weeks long. And yes, we were expected to do all of the work for a 16 week course in the three week time frame. Interesting enough, I learned more from this class than some of the longer ones. Of course I lost a lot of sleep as I was up until 3AM most nights, just trying to get all of my homework done. 

For this class I chose to focus on my other area of concentration, Science. I created a mini unit on Environmental Science. Each lesson consisted of a PowerPoint and included the required instructional strategy that we were learning at the time. I feel like a nerd sometimes when I think of how much I enjoy this stuff!!! :)

April 2010

Eliza had her last competition in the month of April. It was in Omaha again, and needless to say, we stayed in a different hotel. Reid and Grandma Nancy came with us again, so that we could spend all of Sunday at the Omaha Zoo, before heading back home. It was a fun day, and we loved looking at all the different animals. The gorillas have always been a favorite of mine, but there was a peacock there who gave us his little dance. he managed to leave quite the impression on all of us.

April I spent a lot of time wrapping up the end of the semester of school. Most of my time was spent on a UNI class, Middle Level Curriculum, where I was required to do more field experience in the classroom. I was fortunate to be able to work with sixth graders at Norwalk Middle School. It was a Social Studies class, and I was able spend a few days teaching a lesson on Iowa History. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!! I cannot wait to get my own classroom!!

March 2010

The month of March is always a good one. The ground, and all of us who live on it, begin to defrost. There is green and new signs of life all around us. 

I spent most of the month working on school work. I was able to take two classes that have to deal with my favorite subject, Social Studies. The first was a class on Geography. Many may think that this is a boring, this is here and that is there type of class. This is not all that there is to Geography, though my love of maps does lead for this part to intrigue me. There are also all of the cultural and economic realities involved. 

This was helpful as I worked on another class, American Government. I have taken this class before. I took it during 9/11, and the professor had a nervous breakdown. Being that I am more of an audio learner, and all he did was rant and rave, I did not get an acceptable grade in the class. This time when I took it, I learned A LOT!! It was a fun class that actually taught me many things that I had been having problems learning prior. 

Eliza had yet another competition. This one was in Davenport. We ere able to stay at the house of family and traveled with Eliza's teammate Heidi and her mom Cynthia. They have become good friends and made the trip that much more fun!!!

February 2010

This month was COLD!!!!! For some reason I never have a very god attitude this month. It is almost as if I have endured all that I can endure, and am just done with the cold and the snow. If any of you remember this last February, you would remember that the cold and snow was not really done with us. Nothing much else happened that much....just hibernating with my little princess.

Eliza's month consisted her first dance competition. It was a rather small one, which was a good way to start. She amazes me how she can get on that stage and dance in front of hundreds of people. I am not sure I would have had that amount of courage at her age.

For her second competition we were in Omaha. Dawn, Reid and of course grandma Nancy went with us. it was fun to get away for the weekend. Unfortunately the night we left, there was a little girl who lost her life in the pool of the hotel we were staying at. It really hurt all of those who were involved and left quit the sting in my own heart.  I am still not sure how such a thing can happen, and it the images still haunt me today. It may be closer to my heart since the girl was so close to my own daughter's age. What a waste.

Here is a link to some of that story. http://www.ketv.com/news/24456265/detail.html

What month is it???

My apologies, I cannot believe the last time I posted anything was in January. I am not sure where the year has gone. But, I do know that, after being inspired by a friend, I have decided to begin posting again. Reasons being:

1. a place to share my random thoughts.
2. a place to post updates ( I am no longer on Facebook)
3. Hoping some of you will enjoy the posts.

I will start by trying to sum up the last eight months, one at a time. This may help you know why I am where I am at now.

Hope you are all well. Be blessed!

Angel Cloud Cakes - GF

1 package GF Angel food cake mike
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp almond extract
1/4 C confetti sprinkle (Dye and GF)
1 thing of Vanilla GF frosting
Coconut
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Make cake mix according to package directions, adding vanilla and almond extract.

Mix on low speed for 1 minute, then mix on Medium speed for 1 more minute.

Fold in sprinkles.

Line cupcake pans with cupcake liners. Spoon batter into each cup, filling 3/4 full. Bake for 25 minutes, or until tops are dark golden brown.

Remove from oven and let cool in pan for 5 minutes. Remove from pan and let cool 1 hour before frosting. Once frosted you can sprinkle on the coconut.

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*** You will notice some of the ingredients are in italics. This is where we used substitutes to make them better for us.

NOTE: This recipe still has white sugar, and i used a prepackaged Angel Food cake mix rather than doing the from scratch version. The only part that took much time was the whipping of the egg whites. I also think I might try to figure out a better version on the "whipped cream" frosting that the recipe asked for, this may give it a different and more fluffy flavor. But all in all, they were enjoyed by our entire family.

Beery, Barbara. (2006) Pink Princess Cookbook. p.4. Layton, Utah. Gibbs Smith, Publisher

Cooking for the Princess

As many of you know, last April the doctors were ready to put Eliza on Zantac, which is a medicine for the tummy. In an effort to avoid this, i started trying to cook more low processed foods, with a strong emphasis on cutting out the dye. A lot of organic and homemade things started being made at the Fitch residence.

In shopping in the organic section, you will see many things that are labeled Gluten free. After some research i have concluded that although it is not mandatory for us to go strictly Gluten Free, the GF diet is a healthy one, and I would try to begin to incorporate it into our lives more.

The recipe that we are making comes from Pink Princess Cookbook by Barbara Berry. Eliza got it for a present. I think it was purchased from LTD. Most of the recipes are filled with pink/red dye, which is something that my family has to stay aware from.

Two other factors that lead to our new adventure were her Friday morning cooking classes and the movie Julie and Julia. The class was a cooking class that was offered at the Y every Friday morning. It is a fun class, but seemed to mess up our schedule, as well as most of the food was highly processed. I knew it would break her heart to not do it anymore, and i had recently watched the movie Julie and Julia, so i came up with the idea of her and i cooking our way through her cookbook, only trying to change the recipes to be more healthy. so that is what we did.

I will try to get an update on the cupcakes we made the other day still tonight.

2009 Annual Letter

Dear friends and family,

I find myself at a crossroad. There is a part of me that seems to be too willing to walk away from things in my life. Ideals and beliefs that a few months ago, I stood for unwavering. What is it that makes us question all that we are and all that we have. I do not think that it is a bad thing. The healthiest of times in my life involved moments of self evaluative inventory. It is at these times, we are forced to choose once again, what we will choose to believe and how we will apply that to the way we live our lives.

The year started out with me doing the full-time daycare, full-time student and full-time mom routine. What a blessing it has been to be at home with Eliza. The changes I have seen in the both of us have been monumental, yet somehow so subtle. As the year progressed, I came to the realization that I was being stretched too thin. The schooling I am required to do, in becoming a teacher, involves field experience. This is a set number of hours each semester that I work with children in the school setting. This created a constant conflict with my schedule. So in May, after many months of prayer, I decided to give my two months notice for doing in home daycare. I was not sure how I was going to make ends meet, but I knew it was the right chose for everyone involved. It was hard to let the baby boy I was watching go, but since he lives across the street, we knew we would get to see him again. Before I closed I was also able to watch my friend Kariann’s new born baby girl for a month, our newest girlfriend…Miss Eva Danielle Mikesell.

July marked the end of the in home daycare, and the beginning of something new. My dad and his long time fiancée Theresa were married in their gorgeous back yard on July 3rd. It was a great time, and I could not have been happier for the two of them. It was clear they were very much in love and the best of friends. All of my Fitch siblings were there, which made for a very packed house, camper and garage, but it is always fun being together. My baby brothers Chris and Brad are now both married. Brad was married last year to Aunt Amanda, and this year Eliza got another great lady to be her aunt…Kelly. They are both good for my brothers, and I wish them only the best.

In July I also started a class at the gym called “Bootcamp”. It was an hour and a half every morning for a month. I had started going to the gym back in April, and knew that I needed something to give me the extra boost. I also needed to learn my way around the gym again, and “Bootcamp” was able to offer me that too.

Back in April I had also decided to drastically change the menu at the Fitch residence. The problem was that Eliza was spending four of the seven days of the week on the sofa holding her belly in pain. The doctors were ready to put her on Zantac. Knowing this is a lifelong medicine, I wanted to try something else first. My friend Emily and I had talked before about the thoughtful diet that she and her family do.

Basically what we try to do is eat very low processed organic homemade food. The other key, that works for us is to make a weekly menu and stick to it. With us we do breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner. That is it. Eliza’s stomach pains went away immediately. Within the first two months I lost 20 lbs. Then once I began the “Bootcamp” I lost another 15. Unfortunately that is still where I am at. I found it very easy to allow myself to slowly move away from our new way of eating. From changing schedules, vacations, physical injuries that keep me from the gym; there are just so many reasons to eat without thought, and not get to the gym. I am not giving up though, and pray to make this our new way of life once and for all.

Eliza has had a great year. After watching many hours of dance competitions (where Reid competes) she had developed more of a passion for dance. In June was her first recital, and in August she was able to perform at the fair. She was too cute up on that stage, and did a lot better than I thought she would, being barely five. This year, Eliza was asked to be on the new Pearl Team at APDA. This means she will get to learn a routine and perform it with her team at the competitions. She is very excited, and has so much fun doing it.

September started a round of new lessons for her at home also. Rather than put her in Kindergarten the day after she turned five, I decided to wait another year. At home we learn all kinds of things, including the weather, colors, shapes, writing and the letters of the alphabet. It is awesome when people ask her where she learned something from and she says, “My mom taught me that.”

As for me, this fall has been filled with questions. Please do not misunderstand. I know who I am, and what my goals are more than ever in my life. Having this foundation however, is allowing me to finally test some of my other theories and practices. This last year, I have been OVERLY blessed. God has not withheld anything from me, but rather supplied for the needs and wants of Eliza and I generously. I felt a bit ungrateful when I found myself lacking contentment in this time of abundance.

I am grateful. Awesomely grateful, and I think that is why I want to make sure that I do not receive these blessings in vain. I do not want to just sit back and lived a blessed life. I mean, is that why Jesus died and then rose again? So that I can sit in my comfy middle class lifestyle and be blessed? Maybe? I don’t know, but I want to ask. I want to know why I believe what I believe. I want to know why I do what I do, and is what I do pleasing to the Lord who gave me life? Am I living a life worthy of all that he did? I know I am not perfect, and none of us ever will be, but I have a feeling I can do better than what I have been doing. So there you have it, a crossroad. Do I continue living the way we think Christianity is supposed to look, or is there something else down that other narrow path?

"Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." - Joshua 24:14-15