This last month I have been quite busy with school, festivities, and for two hours every morning Monday - Thursday, a little something the YMCA likes to call "Bootcamp".
I decided to take part in this mostly because I knew that I needed to have someone show me my way around the gym again. I also need to be pushed beyond my comfort level. This course has met both of these objectives!
Adding this to my already well defined diet, enabled me to lose eight pounds in the first week. I lost some major inches, dropping one full pant size, and a lot of my clothes are feeling a lot better.
The next two weeks were a major struggle. I had so many other things going on, that I was finding great excuses to stop for a burger, or a quick dinner at Casey's. Needless to say, I went up and down a few pounds these two weeks, but no real success or failures. The nutrionist that gave two lectures to our "bootcamp" group stated it well, when he said, "A relapse is not a failure." Those seemed to be pretty big words for me, as I seem to judge myself on a pass/fail scale.
I was also struggling with my emotions. If you have ever watched the show "The Biggest Loser" you might have seen people break down and cry. I always wondered what that was all about, but now I have a better idea.
Last Wednesday during cycling class, we were doing sprints. This is where you go full fource for 25 seconds and then 35 seconds off. You do this for a total of eight minutes. This was our second round of sprints, after some uphilling and hovering. I have not developed all of the needed muscles for cycling yet, so it is all a challenge for me. For some reason, after about the fourth sprint of that round, i just threw my towel over my head, and my body started to just weep. I do not recall thinking of anything sad, or evening feeling like I was "crying". It was just a flow of tears, that seemed to be releasing a build up of tension from my brain.
This last weekend, was definitly not great, as I continued to struggle with staying disciplined with my diet. Then yesterday morning, while reading the word, I was given motivation to refocus my eyes back where they should be, and remember that it is not just about what "i want" to be doing, it is about healing and transforming myself from the inside out, as an act of obedience to my Lord! A call to live a life worthy of him and all that he has planned for me. And to be able to be around, and in good condition to do so. To make my body a living sacrifice. To not be a glutton, or sluggard, because those things are not holy, and he is calling me to be holy. So, do i really need any other reasons to die to my own desires for the Mc D's cheeseburger, and live the life he has shown me to live? HMM!?!?!?!?
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