...that the lord is good." those are lyrics to a lovely song of worship. I hear this in my thoughts as i allow my mind to linger to the changes that are already visible in me and my daughter since the Lord began leading us down a different path.
Ironically, one of the largest changes that i have seen in eliza is her sense of taste. In the last month she has started to eat....
grapes
pineapple
spaghetti O's
broccoli
rice
real (not processed) chicken
add much less sugar....
I am so thankful that she is starting to have a more healthy menu, and i am hopeful that it will aid in hyperactivity. Time will tell.
10.16.2008
10.03.2008
the gentle side of me....
For those of you who know me well, i am sure there are times that i may have reminded you of Elaine from Seinfield. i am not what you would consider a gentle person. This is actually something that has been a huge struggle in my life.
It states in the word (1 Peter 3:4)that a gentle and quiet spirit, of a woman, is pleasing to the Lord. Well no matter how hard i try i can not seem to get that spirit going within me. I am quite simply not that woman, and for a long time (sometimes still struggle with the lingering thought) that this makes me less of a woman after God's heart. Less of a servant to him, less able to be able to serve for him.
Lately i have been talking with God and telling him, you made me this way, right? you know that I am not "a gentle and quiet spirit". No, i am more like a hawk than a hummingbird, and you know this. So why I am asked to be something that i am not? Do i just be me and hope that my life and personality can bring you glory in some way?
I do also know that he wants us to be transformed. (Romans 12) That we are to allow Christ to come through us, and Christ had a very gentle and quiet spirit. And yet, he was not the passive character that i have in mind when i think of who i have been longing to be in order to better please my Lord. So where is the harmony? Where do i need to sit down and shut up, and where do i need to use my gift (not being scared to look like a fool) to bring God glory? It is a tough call, and one that i will probably be in constant prayer about.
I can say this, slowing my life down has seemed to bring out a more gentle side of me. Before i had so many things going on all the time (still am pretty busy) and i was so easily distracted. i did not seem to be able to stay in the constant prayer that i needed to be in. Not that i can all the time now, but it is seeming to be more simple. And my mood seems to be more relaxed which equals a more gentle and more quiet spirit. It reminds me of what I was lead to four years ago. "This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength,...." Isaiah 30:15.
It states in the word (1 Peter 3:4)that a gentle and quiet spirit, of a woman, is pleasing to the Lord. Well no matter how hard i try i can not seem to get that spirit going within me. I am quite simply not that woman, and for a long time (sometimes still struggle with the lingering thought) that this makes me less of a woman after God's heart. Less of a servant to him, less able to be able to serve for him.
Lately i have been talking with God and telling him, you made me this way, right? you know that I am not "a gentle and quiet spirit". No, i am more like a hawk than a hummingbird, and you know this. So why I am asked to be something that i am not? Do i just be me and hope that my life and personality can bring you glory in some way?
I do also know that he wants us to be transformed. (Romans 12) That we are to allow Christ to come through us, and Christ had a very gentle and quiet spirit. And yet, he was not the passive character that i have in mind when i think of who i have been longing to be in order to better please my Lord. So where is the harmony? Where do i need to sit down and shut up, and where do i need to use my gift (not being scared to look like a fool) to bring God glory? It is a tough call, and one that i will probably be in constant prayer about.
I can say this, slowing my life down has seemed to bring out a more gentle side of me. Before i had so many things going on all the time (still am pretty busy) and i was so easily distracted. i did not seem to be able to stay in the constant prayer that i needed to be in. Not that i can all the time now, but it is seeming to be more simple. And my mood seems to be more relaxed which equals a more gentle and more quiet spirit. It reminds me of what I was lead to four years ago. "This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength,...." Isaiah 30:15.
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